I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
Randomize