I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
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