thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
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