I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
