When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
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