a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
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