So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
Two words: blizzard sex
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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