I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
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