we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
This is classic penis vs brain.
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
Randomize
