So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
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