I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
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apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
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I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
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