Just mADE A PArabola og urine
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Randomize
