see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
