I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
Randomize
