I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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