Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
