you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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