I'm gonna have a badass scar
She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
Randomize