my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
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