please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
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