i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Randomize
