No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
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And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
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