he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Randomize
