i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Randomize
