I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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