I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
