R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
