I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
we're making bets on your personal life
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
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