Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Randomize
