Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
it glows. i had to have it.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
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