maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
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