No, you can still breathe under the balls.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Randomize
