Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
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