that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
i would one night stand the shit outta him
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
Randomize
