How'd it feel making her break her religion?
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
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