A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
not ubering you a puppy
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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