So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
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