im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
