just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
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