dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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