What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
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