Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
I showed him my bush... on skype.
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
Randomize
