I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
