How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Randomize
