Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
Randomize
