shes about as inviting as chlamydia
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
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