im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
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