i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
He shit in the fireplace
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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