super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Randomize
