Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
