I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
I'd cum for enchiladas.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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