I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
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