I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Randomize
