You're a womanizer and a bitch.
So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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