Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
Randomize
