I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
Randomize