dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
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