Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
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