if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
