I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
