By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize
