Moan for me like Helen Keller
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
