is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Randomize
