Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
im six kinds of drunk right now
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
