she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
Randomize
