This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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